Accessing Services

“I felt lonely, like I had nowhere to turn.”

In Chapter 1 of this course we learned that many more dads did not access any form of support than those that did. Just under 40% of dads who said that they had wanted support, still didn’t access any. Whilst we know that barriers to accessing services can be high for dads, a huge proportion of these dads told us that they didn’t know how to access support, didn’t know support was available, or even thought that services for them didn’t exist.

“We don’t actually know what the services are, nobody is advertising them to us.”

Of the dads who were aware of information, services or interventions available to them, some had happened upon them accidentally, for example seeing a resource when sitting in a waiting room, or because their partner had been told about them, or a family member or friend had accessed something previously.

A significant proportion of the dads we spoke to also had a minimal support network in relation to parenting. Sometimes this was because existing friends were at a different stage of life, potentially without children, other times it was because dads had made a conscious decision to spend more time with family and less with friends and as a result felt they had ‘lost’ their support network. Dads who had experienced this loss of support network told us that they sometimes felt ‘lonely’ and like they had ‘nowhere to turn’. This not only impacted their wellbeing but also had implications for their ability to seek practical support and advice on parenting. Many turned to the internet for this support.

Several resources for dads already exist, both within Kent as well as services that are accessible nationwide. Despite this, we found that relatively low numbers of men accessed these, or were even aware of them, including in circumstances where dads had wanted or needed support and in some cases where they had attempted to seek it out.

Some dads told us that they didn’t or wouldn’t speak out during appointments or interactions with professionals as they either didn’t feel comfortable, didn’t need support at that point, or didn’t want to take the focus away from the other parent:

“A midwife asked me if I was ok, I just said ‘fine’ as I didn’t want to be an extra burden.”

Many dads wanted information about services that could be accessed in their own time and at their own pace, if and when it was needed. It’s important to consider how you can have interactions with dads about support but leave the door open for accessing in the future. This health visitor talks about the importance of leaving the door to support open, as emotional health issues can take time to manifest: