Interactions
Difficult feelings are common
In our interactions with dads, 30% said that they ‘struggled with their mental health’, whilst 75% of dads during pregnancy and 70% postnatally said that they ‘experienced difficult feelings for example, feeling useless, feeling very stressed, feeling worthless or like there is no point, or something else’.
Despite this, many dads did not know that men could experience perinatal mental illness and therefore had not sought any support and felt ashamed that they had struggled. One dad told us:
“I wasn’t one carrying the baby so I thought it was just something wrong with me.”
Many dads did not identify with the term ‘mental health’ or perceived support as being for ‘other people’.
This lack recognition of changes in mental health and wellbeing for new dads’ was further exacerbated by dads’ interactions with the wider system. Most dads stated that they had never been asked about their own feelings and so didn’t know it was ok or common for them to experience difficult feelings.
“Nobody once asked me how I was feeling, I didn’t know it was ok to feel not ok.”
Dads who had engaged in discussions antenatally or postnatally about mental health and wellbeing for all parents surrounding pregnancy, birth and beyond were overwhelmingly positive about the impact that this had. They stated that not only had this made them feel equipped to support their partner or the baby’s mum but that it also normalised their own experiences and assured them that they were not alone. This in turn led to a greater likelihood of seeking support.
Take a listen below to an experienced health visitor talking about how she brings up the topic of emotional health and wellbeing with dads after the birth of their baby:
What can I do?
If you engage with dads in the antenatal period, consider what can be done to provide space for discussion about perinatal mental health in all genders. These discussions do not necessarily need to be complex or in-depth, for example a simple piece of information about perinatal mental health and common avenues for support could be sufficient. Rather than causing anxiety, being aware of the statistics around dads’ perinatal mental health often supported dads to feel prepared and normalised discussions around mental health and wellbeing.
If you’re not feeling confident in holding these discussions, educating yourself is a great place to start. You could try using some of the resources from Mind or this resource created by The Fatherhood Institute in collaboration with The Mental Health Foundation.
For those who engage with dads for longer periods of time, consider building in longer discussions around perinatal mental health, signs and symptoms in all genders, coping mechanisms and local avenues for support.
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Darwin, Zoe, Jill Domoney, Jane Iles, Florence Bristow, Jasmine Siew, and Vaheshta Sethna. 2020. “Assessing the Mental Health of Fathers, Other Co-Parents, and Partners in the Perinatal Period: Mixed Methods Evidence Synthesis.” Frontiers in Psychiatry / Frontiers Research Foundation 11: 585479.
Cameron, Emily E., Ivan D. Sedov, and Lianne M. Tomfohr-Madsen. 2016. “Prevalence of Paternal Depression in Pregnancy and the Postpartum: An Updated Meta-Analysis.” Journal of Affective Disorders 206 (December): 189–203.
“Partners Experiencing Perinatal and Postnatal Depression.” n.d. Mind. https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression-and-perinatal-mental-health/partners/.
The Fatherhood Institute, and The Mental Health Foundation. 2021. “Becoming Dad: A Guide for New Fathers.” https://www.fatherhoodinstitute.org/_files/ugd/efff1d_f24a9bf2344449ab97057dd600f710f3.pdf.