Engaging New Dads in Your Service
Interactions

Destigmatising Support

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“I didn’t feel as though I could reach out.”

One of the clearest findings from engagement with dads across Kent was that many more dads did not access any form of support than those that did, and this was true both antenatally and postnatally.

Just under 40% of dads who said that they had wanted support, still didn’t access any. So what’s going on here? Of course it would be easy for us to say that dads need to take more responsibility for addressing their own needs, but if we want to make real change we need to look underneath the headlines.

Many dads spoke to us about the pressure of traditional narratives around masculinity and the need to appear to be in control and to be managing things. According to Mind, “traditional masculine values such as self-reliance and stoicism are likely to play a role [in men being less likely to seek support], with talking about mental health seen as a weakness” (Mind, 2019).

The way in which issues were framed was particularly important to some dads, with many dads telling us that the idea of ‘needing help’ was problematic for them. Some dads told us that they were less likely to engage in interventions or with the system if they felt that this was a sign of weakness or a signal that they ‘needed help’. As a result, some dads rejected or avoided seeking support even when it would have been extremely beneficial for them.

Many dads reflected that if they had fully understood the implications of their own mental health and wellbeing on their child and the child’s mother, they would have been more likely to seek support when things didn’t feel right.

Ultimately, our if our engagement with dads can assist them in:

  1. Understanding that dads can experience perinatal mental illness and the importance of their own wellbeing in the context of their family,

  2. Knowing that perinatal mental illness in dads is not an individual problem but something that is experienced by lots of dads,

  3. Feeling that they have a right to support and know that support exists.

Then dads are more likely to:

  1. Recognise when things are not right,

  2. Feel less shame and speak out,

  3. Seek support for themselves and their family.

an orange life saving float hung on a wall

What can I do? 

When speaking about perinatal mental health and wellbeing, ensure that dads’ wellbeing is framed within the context of the wider family system. Dads who recognised that managing their own wellbeing had a direct impact on their baby and the baby’s other parent were more willing to seek support.

If you are running services, consider the language that you use. Avoiding terms like ‘support’ and deficiency-based narratives may improve engagement. Instead, strengths-based language should be used. Consultation with dads around use of language in materials may be beneficial in achieving a tone most likely to meet dads’ needs.

Be proactive in understanding what is available to dads and families in your own local area. This could be stay and play groups, peer support groups or other services. A reminder to dads that these services are for them too can be really helpful. A professional working closely with dads told us:

“It’s important to tell dads that services are for them too. Sometimes when there is no visibility of dads they can feel as though things are not for them. A reminder that this isn’t the case can be really helpful.”

  • Mind. 2019. “Get It Off Your Chest: Men’s Mental Health 10 Years on.” https://www.mind.org.uk/media/6771/get-it-off-your-chest_a4_final.pdf.